They want one thing only! And I had enough of it.

Do you know those people that want only one thing from you at any cost?

And that is not a tiny woman’s paranoia; it is a fact that I see and want to talk about today – well, that is the advantage of having your website or blog; you can post whatever you want when you want!

Keep reading, please.

 

A few days ago, I realized that I had to change. I love change as long I decide to do it instead of being forced into it.

My motivation

After years in and out of a very toxic relationship, I believed that guy was doing the work, wanting to grow as a human and partner.

I have given him several opportunities to be a friend, a supporter, and a lover, but all he wanted to do was someone good-looking and fun to play around with him.

That man never wanted a real woman or did not like that. I would tell him that the road to growth and healing was always to be honest with ourselves and learn what we wanted or needed.

His need for control, lack of trust, and insecurities had drained me so much that it became unbearable to hear his complaints, and he made up arguments that initiated in his mind.

What motivated me to change, and be back in my badass mode, was the improbable idea of ended up my life with him or anyone alike.

The infinite drama

To mention that is one guy, but so many others make everything about them, how they feel about me, and their dreams and ideas of us being together.

To some, I gave them the opportunity, but as life goes on, so do the options.

Why this title?

When I say they want one thing only, I am not talking about sex.

I feel that the whole purpose is to win; whatever they believe is there to be won; Our hearts, our times, our loyalty, and sex.

Exceptionally few men will be honestly interested in simply being a partner, someone that helps us be grounded when lives go crazy, and our feet seem to be ten feet above the ground, with no signs of rescue.

A partner that wants us to succeed and be happy by being us.

Look, I am not trying to generalize and judge the whole world completely; I, for example, had awesome girlfriends and boyfriends. I needed them to be at a specific moment of my life, that I was who I was.

But we are not here to talk about the good ones but to share about those who are only interested in controlling others.

 

What to do?

I can not tell you what to do when you are in any relationship where you are not allowed to be who you indeed are, and even though you try to “comply,” you feel that it is not correct, and you are the one suffering in silence.

My inner fire was disappearing out of tiredness, constantly walking on eggshells so I would not hurt anyone’s feelings.

I refused to kiss and make out with people I was interested in so I wouldn’t make other guys who were either my partners or were my exes or admirers.

Knowing who I am and everything I have overcome, I finally realized something was wrong with me.

Why was I doing it to myself? Why do I allow someone to use and manipulate me to feed his ego?

I can write a whole book on my whys, but I believe the main reason was LOVE.

I truly loved some of them and wanted them to work so badly, even if it compromised who I am, my health, my friends, my beliefs, and my freedom.

All in the name of love, right?

Oh, heck no!

Then what?

Well, what about starting to set boundaries? Solid and determined ones.

My way of setting boundaries was by removing all of those guys from my life, still having a few humans that wanted one thing only from me, to be eliminated for good.

I tried to be understanding and patient with each of them, but it was not always enough because they would somehow drag me back into their dramatic, controlling spiral.

A spiral where I am never enough, always giving, and being blamed whenever I refuse to attend to their expectations of how I have to be, feel, and react.

That is the best advice I can give you, and once you set these boundaries, don’t you ever look back!

Don’t you dare to give up your power to the same people and recognize when someone is trying to repeat the same patterns!

via GIPHY

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